A Tribute to the Brave and Their Families (Ward Newsletter - July 2011)

Early in April 2010, we opened our home and our hearts to our son and his family upon their return from a year of training at Defense Language Institute Foreign Language School in Monterey, California. Two months later, we said goodbye to John as he began his twelve month deployment to Iraq. His sweet wife and nine month old son remained behind. Has it been a challenge? Yes, for us ALL! Has it been an inconvenience? Perhaps at times. But what I want to share with you is this:

A young, pregnant wife with her small child, said goodbye to her husband not knowing the conditions in which he would live, the tasks that he would be assigned, nor what the outcome of his deployment would be.

I have observed a very strong and courageous young woman bear the burdens of raising a family alone in a home that was not her own, with a family that she had not been raised with. She endured many sleepless nights, illnesses of both child and dog, and numerous doctor and veterinarian visits. All alone in the hospital delivery room, she came close to the valley of the shadow of death to bring their baby into the world, not knowing if her husband would ever return to meet his daughter. She was determined to be self-sufficient and not to burden her in-laws, and other than a few times of being called upon to assist, she was just that!

She continued her solo adventure by searching for a home, signing documents, purchasing appliances, and with dignity endured the stress that comes from a move; including packing and making all the arrangements for movers, utilities, and such. Now, I observe her as she unpacks and organizes their new home. She waits however, on the major decisions of beautification so that he can contribute when he returns home from his deployment.

My son? Well, I have no knowledge of what he has had to endure other than the heat, perhaps food and drinking water and overall sanitary conditions, but most importantly, the separation from his family. Often people inquire about him, but there isn't much to report. How much CAN he share? Do we really want to know? The news becomes a necessary link to that part of the world of course, but also our worst enemy as we fearfully, and prayerfully watch, and wait for word that he is fine.

Like many of our soldiers, he is a dedicated family man. I know that he has suffered dearly being away from his sweet wife and very young children, and yet LIKE his brave wife, ne'er a complaint did he utter. His service to our country will more than likely go unnoticed to the general public. He, like most of our valiant men and women, is private and humble and does not desire attention at his graduations, promotions, or upon his return from deployment. They simply desire to do their jobs and return home safely to be with their families.

So, as I sit here in my now uncluttered home, cleaning and reorganizing, and spreading ourselves out now that there is an abundance of room, I ponder: What was our sacrifice, really? To be quieter in the home? To see clutter in several of the rooms? To give up the garage to their car, furniture and boxes? To have to schedule laundry days? To experience additional wear and tear on the home? To have to share my kitchen with another woman? Who truly had to make the greater sacrifice?

Over the past months, I have been blessed with an increased understanding of service: Service to GOD by serving others; Service to our FAMILIES, by being willing to share all that He has given us; Service to our COUNTRY, even if it means the possibility of the ultimate sacrifice.

As you and your loved ones celebrate the birth of our nation, I encourage you to remember those who have sacrificed much for our country...for you and for me, and for our posterity. Share this with your children and your grandchildren. Pray for, and if given the opportunity, thank a soldier or a veteran. Pray for and thank a spouse and the children that were left on the home front to bear all the daily burdens alone, all the while wondering....praying...and waiting for the day he is back in their arms and the family is whole. This is truly the land of the free, because of the brave.

God bless ALL our troops and those that love and miss them and sacrifice in our behalf as well. God bless AMERICA!

Down Into Our Hearts (Ward Newsletter - February 2011)

In February, our thoughts naturally focus on the affairs of the heart. Turning for a moment, away from the Hallmark connotations, I want to explore the more spiritual interactions of the heart.

Doctrine and Covenants 59:5 reads, "Wherefore, I give unto them a commandment, saying thus: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy might, mind, and strength; and in the name of Jesus Christ thou shalt serve him."

What does it mean to love the Lord with all our heart, might, mind and strength? To answer this, we must first address the fact that "love" indicates that an action of some sort must be taken, for love does not conjure up images of passive behavior. Thus the second part of this scripture in which we are counseled to "serve him". Just how DO we serve Him? Verse 6 goes on to explain that we are to "love thy neighbor as thyself."

On the other hand, we are also taught that we will be judged by what is in our hearts, right? This may imply that no action is needed. Elder Marvin J. Ashton said, "When the Lord measures an individual, He does not take a tape measure around the person’s head to determine his mental capacity, nor his chest to determine his manliness, but He measures the heart as an indicator of the person’s capacity and potential to bless others. " (Hmmm...to "bless others"!)

He goes on to say, "Why the heart? Because the heart is a synonym for one’s entire makeup...The measure of our hearts is the measure of our total performance. As used by the Lord, the “heart” of a person describes his effort to better self, or others, or the conditions he confronts. (General Conference, Oct 1988) Again, effort takes action and to bless not only ourselves, but others.

One of my favorite comments by President Elder B. Eyring is the following: Speaking here of our dear Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley, he said, "When I was responsible for teaching the gospel to our youth in our seminary programs across the world, he (the Prophet) had said, tapping his forefinger on my chest, “Hal, why don’t you do better in getting the gospel down into their hearts?”He knew that only when it was down in their hearts, as it was in his, would they be strong enough and brave enough to qualify for eternal life. He loved young people. He knew their weaknesses and the fierce opposition which they would face.

President Hinckley knew that God will steel and fortify us all as we choose to take the gospel down into our hearts. And he knew that the choice was made by consecrating all we are and have to follow the Master. (Ensign March 2008)

I believe that for us to truly love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, might, mind and strength we too must do better in getting the gospel down into our hearts and the hearts of our children, that God might steel and fortify us as we consecrate all we are and all we have to follow the Master. Then and only then can we fully understand the will of the Lord and how we can better serve Him, through our service to others.

Beginning Anew (Ward Newsletter - January 2011)

What visions come to mind when you ponder the word NEW? Newborns, a new home, a new car, new clothes or shoes, a new book, or maybe even a new place to visit? Most of these items conjure up pleasurable experiences, excitement, or simply awaken the senses. Is there anything sweeter to look at, smell, touch or listen to than a new baby? There's no comparison here to a newborn, but I personally also enjoy the scent of the printed pages of a new book. Don't we strive to keep our "things" in top condition for as long as we can? The moment we soil a shirt, ding a car or someone tramples on our newly laid sod, we are crushed or even devastated. It's ruined! It will never be the same again. We might even toss an item aside.

Let's reflect on the memories of our baptism for a moment? Being a convert, I was nearly thirty-three years old when I was baptized. I can still recall the sweet feeling I had as I came up out of the water--fresh, clean and NEW. There was absolutely no residue of my past transgressions left. I also can confirm that this bright, shining, new moment did not last very long. Much like new items that we purchase, the newness of that perfect moment also began to tarnish. Each New Year's Day, we begin with anticipation and excitement at the idea of starting fresh, a new beginning, a new heart. How often do we find ourselves failing to keep our goals or hold fast to our resolutions and commitments? We become discouraged and disappointed in ourselves, and often choose to give up instead of forging ahead in spite of our shortcomings or setbacks. We feel perhaps, that we have to wait a whole year before we can try again. Why do we do this? How can we keep ourselves from giving up.

Then the message to me was clear: Beginning anew doesn't just pertain to the New Year. If we break it down, we can apply it to a new month or week. Each week we have the opportunity of starting new by changing our hearts, asking for forgiveness, and partaking of the sacrament. Each week is filled with new days; each day, new hours and even minutes. Wow! We have an abundance of opportunities for starting over, starting fresh.

This year as we begin a new decade, we also have the privilege of studying the New Testament. In The Historical Context of the New Testament article in this month's Ensign, it reads: "The Greek words translated as "new testament" actually refer to a covenant, the new covenant the Savior extends to us through the Atonement." We know that it is through the Atonement of Christ that all mankind may be saved; therein lies the "good news". Through the Atonement, with the Lord by our side, we can begin anew...each year, each month, week, day, hour or even minute. How blessed we are this year to be able to study the New Testament and be given the opportunity to change our hearts and come unto Christ anew. For with Him there is hope, faith, and light. Where we fall short, he picks up the slack or as we hopefully have experienced, may even carry us.

President Thomas S. Monson shared in the April 2009 session of General Conference: " Too numerous to mention are the examples of all the individuals who have faced difficult circumstances and yet who have persevered and prevailed because their faith in the gospel and in the Savior has given them the strength they have needed."

It is my desire then that as we fail, and I know I will to one degree or another, that through our understanding of the Atonement our faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, that we will pull ourselves up and realize that we have another opportunity to begin anew with each moment, and persevere and prevail.

My Quote

"Your firstborn teaches you the depth of love; subsequent children the breadth of love. But your grandchildren teach you the FULLNESS of love." - Me

Oh, the Joys of Being a Yia Yia!

Oh the Joys of Being a Yia Yia!

When I learned that I was pregnant with my second child, I wondered how I could possibly love him as much as I loved my first born. Then I found this verse,

" Our first child helps us to discover the depth of love; our second child, the breadth of it."

I found this to be incredibly true for me and was blessed with an abundance of joy as I nurtured my two wonderful sons.

Now I am astonished that I am a Yia Yia! How do I describe how wonderful this experience is, and yet I realize that I have only just begun the walk of grandmothering. So many quotes on the internet speak of grandparenting or have funny little verses on the challenges of having those little ones around again. Where is a verse I can relate to, I pondered. I need to write down the words of my own heart. So until I can coin my own, I have posted a few to share:

We'd wish our kids were small again...
If we were granted any wish, I'll tell you what we'd do,
We'd wish our kids were small again, for just a month or two.
To hear their squeals of laughter, to watch them while they play.
And when they ask us to join in, we wouldn't say, "Not today."

To hug again their chubby frames, to kiss away their tears,
and cherish childhood innocence that washed away the years.
Then when it's story time again, we'd stay a little longer,
to answer questions, sing the songs, so memories would be stronger.

But time is callous, wishes, myth, yet God in all his wisdom,
has given us another chance before we join his kingdom.
Your faces may not be just the same, your names are changed, 'tis true,
but yet the smile that radiates, reminds us so much of you.

God must have known that grandparents would need a chance or two.
For many little happy things we hadn't time to do.
So God gave love to grandparents to equal that before, that,
in effect embraces those little lives they bore.

Grandchildren are a grandparent's link to the future, and grandparents are the child's link to the past.

Child of my child,
Heart of my heart,
Your smile bridges the years between us -
I am young again discovering the world
through your eyes.
You have the time to listen
And I have the time to spend.
Delighted to gaze at familiar,
loved features, made new in you again.
Through you, I'll see the future
Through me, you'll know the past
In the present we'll love one another
As long as these moments last.

Grandkids are the crown of the aged.”
-Proverbs 17:16

Reason to Rejoice for the Small and Simple Things

We are filled with priorities in our lives and blogging has been placed at the bottom of my list, for privacy reasons for the most part, in a desire to protect those I love. But also, there are sacred moments and events that happen that loose much in the attempt to translate into words, and too dear to the heart to share. Yet as the month of November begins and Thanksgiving circles back around, I feel a great desire to express my gratitude for the small, simple and even precious things in my life knowing that from such, great things have and will come to pass.

I feel the eternal blessings from the addition of a new daughter-in-law to our family. Petite in stature, but grand in strength and spirit, she has blessed all of our lives. From the moment she walked through our door, I called her "my angel". I watched this very young, committed couple kneel across the alter in a sealing room of the Salt Lake Temple, a brief ceremony with eternal blessings. A simple honeymoon, a modest reception that began the journey of eternal companionship and a vision of posterity yet to be.

A mother's heart seems to be wherever her children are. Sending your children off as they begin a life of their own is one of the most difficult experiences we are eventually expected to endure. But watching them grow and succeed is the great reward. Frequent calls home highlight our day. Talks of simple day's events bring lasting memories. I am in awe that such a young man out on his own for his first year, would spend so much time calling his parents, sharing with them his thoughts, dreams of the future, mundane daily activities, personal acknowledgement of his growth into adulthood, and in tender moments, expressing his love and concern for his family back home.

Work outside of the home for me, is a mere necessity. When I leave in the morning, my heart remains at home. With my youngest still in high school, I am torn having to be at work all day. I am grateful he leaves in the morning before I do, that I can send him off with a prayer and expression of love. But I'm saddened that I am not here to greet him at the end of his school day. I long to be here and be able to feed my perpetually hungry, growing young man...and all his friends if the opportunity arises, as they return from their day of social challenges. But I'm grateful for a capable, trustworthy son who has a circle of friends that support gospel principles. I cherish the few moments that we spend together in his busy academic and social life and look forward to the future when grumbles and groans turn into real conversations and tender moments with lasting memories as he too, matures into adulthood.

Now the simple circle of life has provided the greatest blessing of 2009 - a brand new gift from God, fresh from Heavenly Father's home. I am grateful that I have already experienced to some degree, the joys of grand parenting from the perspective of a step-mother, but acknowledging the eternal impact of a mother's first grandchild is still sinking in. Pure and simple joy fills my heart. I am anxious to see and hold this precious child. Hearing for the first time a simple cry on the telephone is acknowledgement that a miracle has truly occurred, for life is indeed, a miraculous thing. Now I will watch, being careful to wait for counsel and assistance but instead, provide pure Christ-like love to my own, small but very precious family as I watch for great things to come to pass. I feel eternally blessed and have reason to rejoice for the small and simple things.

In Memory of TWO Sweet Little Girls

Koukla, November 2007-December 2008 & Stella October 2008 - July 2009
You BOTH will be missed. (updated July 6, 2009)