"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Sacrament Talk – February 21, 2016

It was the summer of 1993. Debra and Howard took their five children on vacation to Arizona to visit their grandparents. One morning while they were still in bed, Debra suffered a seizure which necessitated a call to 911, and a trip to the local hospital. After several tests, it was determined that Debra had a tumor on her brain stem. It was inoperable. Medication was prescribed and instructions were given for Debra to see her family doctor as soon as they returned back home to California.

While back at his parent’s home, Howard made sure that Debra was comfortable in bed before rushing off to the local pharmacy. The oldest daughter was instructed to watch over her younger siblings. At this point, not much was shared with the children. Grandma stayed with Debra until she needed to leave for a moment to retrieve a bed pan. When she returned, Debra had suffered another seizure. Paramedics arrived and worked hard to resuscitate her. She was rushed back to the hospital where she was placed on life support.

At home in Fallbrook, California, our phone rang. I was quietly nursing Peter, then just four months old. Paul answered the phone and his silence told me that something was wrong. As he hung up the receiver, I stated, “It’s Debra, isn’t it?” The Spirit had told me during a conversation with her weeks before, that something was not right.

In an effort to protect the children, Tom 15, Michelle 12, John 10, Michael 5 and Rachael just 5 months old, it was decided that they would not be permitted to see their mother in this condition.

Just two days later, Debra was taken off life-support. It was a very difficult decision for Howard to make, but as a project scientist specializing in cancer research UCSD, he understood his options. The entire stake grieved greatly for this family.

Debra was just a year older than I was when she passed away. Rachel was just one month older than my youngest, Peter. It hit very close to home for me, but In addition to my grief, I was confused.

Sometime after our first son was born, we invited Debra and Howard over for dinner. Paul had served in a Bishopric with Howard before the ward had split and Howard was called as the Bishop of the newly organized 4th ward. Although we were no longer in the same ward, we remained close friends. During our dinner conversation, we had asked Debra and Howard if they would consider raising our children if something were to happen to both of us. They had agreed. Why then, I wondered, would I feel so strongly about asking them when the Lord knew that Debra’s life would be cut short?

Howard hired a nanny to help care for the children. On many levels, this did not work out well for the family and eventually the nanny was let go. When Rachel was about two –and-a-half, Howard asked me if I would watch her while he was at work. He also requested that I be available as an emergency contact for the other children while they were at school. Having lost my father at 16, I had also made a special effort to become a close aunt-like figure to his daughter Michelle. It was at this point that I saw Heavenly Father’s plan clearly. The inspiration to ask the question of Debra and Howard, was so that I would feel a deep connection to them and a great desire to be there for my sister in the gospel and her family, in their time of need. There were many great challenges for Howard and his family, but during the time that I served them, I had the opportunity to feel Debra close by and experienced great support, even blessings from above.

Michelle now 34, lives in Eagle Mountain with her own little family, and we remain close friends. Like all of us who experience the loss of a loved one, she will always miss her mother and forever feel that void. She once told me that she was sad that she never really felt her mother nearby like she knew that I often had. I told her that I had no doubt that she was near and aware of Michelle, but that perhaps it was that way so that she would continue to have a connection with me so that she had someone close by to reach out to in time of need. I believe strongly, that this was Heavenly Father’s plan all along.

Sadly, in 2011 Michelle (and her husband Ben) suffered another loss. Michelle was at her sister’s BYU orientation, and instantly knew something was wrong with her baby. At 25 weeks into the pregnancy, Mailia was still born.

I don’t believe that any of us are immune from experiencing adversity in our lives. I know that I personally have had my own share. I also know that whatever trial I am currently experiencing, will not be my last and the lessons learned are not usually made clear until the trial is behind me. I feel like the Lord gives me just enough of a reprieve to gather strength, before the next one comes along.

It appears to me that everyone in my circle of family and friends is enduring great challenges right now. Some would say that it’s my age and because most of my family and friends are older and it’s just expected that it’s nearing their time to pass on from this life. But I am seeing young children, teenagers and even many in their 30’s and 40’s being taken home at an increasing rate. My dear cousin Andrea was recently placed on hospice. She is in her mid-forties.

At my age, I have seen many great changes in the world and in our nation. I often think that our kids are immune because they haven’t seen the world any other way. It’s not my parent’s world anymore. Truthfully, it’s not even my world!

In 1776, Thomas Paine wrote in The American Crisis:

THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives everything its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods…

In Sheri Dew’s book, “If Life Were Easy, it Wouldn’t be Hard – And Other Reassuring Truths”, she writes:

“While we have been assigned to take the test of mortality during the most spiritually rigorous and demanding time in the world’s history, we have not been left alone.”

We all know the basic answers to how we can find strength. I have put together my top 8 tools that I feel our Father has given us to help us on our journey. I share them with you with the hope that they will if needed, rekindle the fire within us to stand tall, to be brave, valiant, and to endure the challenges that we face.


1. Our Savior Jesus Christ:

In Matthew 11: 28, the Lord lovingly offers help. He promises to be there for us as we covenant with him:

28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

In Doctrine and Covenants 84:88, he also promises:

“And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.”

2. A Living Prophet:

As members of the Lord’s church, we are so blessed to have a living prophet. What especially comforts me is that he is not a prophet of doom. We may be counseled and warned, but HOPE is always the message. We may not understand his message, but the Lord tells us in Doctrine and Covenants 1: 38

“What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.”

We have to exercise FAITH that our Father in Heaven has the bigger picture. Our understanding is so limited by our experiences and perspectives.

3. The Holy Spirit:

There is a reason that the Holy Ghost is called a GIFT and the COMFORTER. He works in PERFECT unity with the Savior and our Heavenly Father to help us live righteously and receive the blessings of the gospel. If we keep ourselves clean, he is there by our side.

He “witnesses of the Father and the Son” and reveals and teaches “the truth of all things”. We can receive a sure testimony of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ only by the power of the Holy Ghost. His communication to our spirit carries far more certainty than any communication we can receive through our natural senses.

As we strive to stay on the path that leads to eternal life, the Holy Ghost can guide us in our decisions and protect us from physical and spiritual danger.

4. Prayer:

“When we pray, God hears more than we say, answers more than we ask, gives more than we imagine in his own time and in his own way.” – author unknown

Brigham Young said: “Were I to draw a distinction in all the duties that are required of the children of men, from first to last, I would place first and foremost the duty of seeking unto the Lord our God until we open the path of communication from heaven to earth – from God to our own souls. Keep every avenue of your hearts clean and pure before him”

5. The Scriptures

Wouldn’t it have been wonderful to actually hear the Savior’s words as He spoke them? The scriptures tell us how we can still hear his voice today:

“Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart” (D&C 8:2)

If I Listen with My Heart, is one of the Primary songs for this year’s program. The first verse like this:

If I had been a little child when Jesus lived on earth,

I would have liked to walk with Him and listen to His words,

But as I search the scriptures I can hear His words of peace,

And if I listen with my heart I hear the Savior’s voice.

6. Seek for Spiritual Gifts:

Elder Bruce R. McConkie said: “Is it proper to seek for spiritual gifts? Should we plead with the Lord for the gift of prophecy, or of revelation, or of tongues? Is it fitting and right to pray for the soul-sanctifying privilege of seeing the face of the Lord Jesus while we yet dwell as mortals in a sin-filled world? Does the Lord expect us to desire and seek for spiritual experiences, or do the divine proprieties call for us simply to love the Lord and keep his commandments, knowing that if and when he deems it proper he will grant special gifts and privileges to us?

By way of answer, it almost suffices to ask such questions as these: Are we not expected to seek salvation, the greatest of all the gifts of God? Why, then, should we not prepare ourselves for the greatest of all boons by seeking the enjoyment of the lesser ones?”

Through the Holy Ghost, we can receive gifts of the Spirit for our benefit and for the benefit of those we love and serve

7. Charity

Sheri Dew writes:

“Charity is not an emotion or an action. It is not something we feel or do. Charity is who the Savior is. It is His most defining and dominant attribute. It is what enabled Him to endure the Garden and the cross for you and me. It is one of the things that makes Him God. Thus when we plead for the gift of charity, we aren’t asking for lovely feelings toward someone who bugs us or someone who has injured or wounded us. We are actually pleading for our very natures to be changed, for our character and disposition to become more and more like the Savior’s, so that we literally feel as He would feel and thus do what He would do. That explains why Mormon said that when the Savior appears, those who have been gifted with charity “shall be like him,” for they shall “see him as he is” (Moroni 7:48)”

8. Miracles

Look for miracles! This has become a motto of mine. Look for them, acknowledge them, give thanks, and remember them and from where they came…

One of my favorite quotes by Elder Holland begins with 2 Kings 6:16-17:

“Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them. And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha"

“In the gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil, and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike--and they will--you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our protection. They will always be there, these armies of heaven, in defense of Abraham's seed.”

My brothers and sisters, as we go through our often rocky life here on this earth, how blessed we are to know that we are not alone. Our beloved Father in Heaven loves us enough to have sent us his only begotten son to provide the way for us to return home. Our Savior simply asks that we come unto him, place our burdens at his feet and he will give us rest. It is through him, our living prophets, the gift of the Holy Spirit, the power of Prayer, the ability to hear his voice through the scriptures, the blessing of spiritual gifts, the understanding of charity, and marvelous miracles that we can and will feel hope, comfort and peace during tumultuous times. This is my prayer for us all, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

2015 Ward Conference - Orem Utah Sharon Stake

January 11, 2015

Theme: Repent, all ye ends of the earth, and come unto me and be baptized in my name, that ye may be sanctified by the reception of the Holy Ghost, that ye may stand spotless before me at the last day…this is my gospel; and ye know the things that ye must do in my church; for the works which ye have seen me do that shall ye also do… 3 Nephi 27:20,21


When our sons were little, we occasionally spent a weekend at a campground close to our home in California. One day our pre-schooler John explained to a woman at the campground that his little brother Peter had just stepped on a roly-poly “and it DIED”, he told her. “But it’s OK,” he announced, “because it will be RESURRECTED!”

Preach My Gospel explains that “because of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, we will ALL be “resurrected”

This gospel principal was understood through the eyes of a little child and joyfully expressed as he bore witness that day to a woman in a simple campground setting.

The 3rd Article of Faith states: “We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.”

We read in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

As members of the church as with all Christians, we know that man walks this earth imperfectly. We all sin, but just as the scriptures say how God so loved the world that he sacrificed only begotten Son, it also tells us in John 3:17 that “God sent NOT his son into the world to CONDEMN the world; but that the world through him might be saved."

In a blessing I received when I was set apart to teach the CTR 7 class a few years ago, I was given counsel by Bishop Olson on the value of using gospel principles “to change behavior, and not to discuss behavior to change behavior”.

We also know that throughout the scriptures, the Lord has counseled us to become as a little child. In a General Conference address in April 2006, in reference to the day when we stand before the Savior and hear him say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant...” Elder Henry B. Eyring stated,

“King Benjamin makes it clear how we can earn the hope to hear those words if we find the way in this life to have our natures changed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ….”

He went on to say,

“King Benjamin describes that change with a beautiful comparison, used by prophets for millennia and by the Lord Himself. It is this: that we can, and we must, become as a child—a little child.”

In Mosiah 3:16, we read King Benjamin’s description of how that change comes to us:

“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

During the Priesthood Session of General Conference in last October, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf explained:

“We must put aside our pride, see beyond our vanity, and in humility ask, “Lord, is it I?”…In these simple words…lies the beginning of wisdom and the pathway to personal conversion and lasting change.”

The section on Repentance in Preach My Gospel, it reads:

“Our faith in Jesus Christ and our love for Him leads us to repent, or to change our thoughts, beliefs and behaviors that are not in Harmony with His will. Repentance includes forming a fresh view of God, ourselves, and the world…as we repent our view of ourselves and the world changes. As we change, we recognize that we are children of God and that we need not continue making the same mistakes over and over. If we sincerely repent, we turn away from our sins and do them no more. We resist any desire to commit sin. Our desire to follow God grows stronger and deeper.”

It goes on to say:

“In addition, we should continually improve—to develop Christlike qualities, to grow in knowledge, and to serve more effectively. As we learn more about what the Savior expects of us, we will want to show our love by obeying Him. Thus as we repent daily, we will find our lives will change and improve. Our hearts and our behavior will become more Christlike. We will come to feel great joy in repenting daily.”

The process of repentance is a very personal and intimate journey between an individual, his Heavenly Father, and his Savior. Although we can be counseled by our church leaders when there is a need, it is not something that can be forced upon us. While it is true that it is human nature to judge, it is not our place to point a finger of judgment upon our neighbor or to call him to repentance. It is our responsibility here in this life to focus on ourselves, to again become as a little child that we might see clearly and thereby be able to push aside blame and victimhood, and free ourselves from all things that keep us prisoners in what is often our own self-afflicted pain and suffering. Then as we free ourselves from darkness, we can be children of light.

In John 12:36, we read:

“While ye have light, believe in the light, that ye may be the children of light…

The Savior has taught us by example, how to help others in their process. It is by showing sincere love, sharing our light, and through living gospel principles that will best help others change their behavior.

I love the analogy of the lighthouse to the boat, or the porch light to the moth. If we radiate light, those in darkness cannot help but be drawn to a “child of light”. We know not who may be in desperate need for a ray of hope or a beam of light to help them on the pathway home. It may be a neighbor, a coworker, a family member, a Facebook friend, or even a stranger we encounter on this journey we call life.

My notes from Elder Brimhall’s comments at Stake Conference December 3, 2011, read:

Regarding those who have gone astray, there are three points for us to ponder. I found #2 to be particularly interesting (paraphrasing here):

1. Invite them back
2. Repent and clean up your own life
3. Love them

Each Sunday in Primary, my favorite moment is class is the time when I stand reverently before the children scanning their beautiful faces as I listen to Brother Peterson play the prelude music. It matters not the heavy burdens I feel in my life, whether it be at work, at home, or in the world, without fail my spirit is immediately lifted and my testimony is strengthened, simply through the light from the eyes and the glow on the faces of these precious little ones. Through them I am reminded of who I am and how I need to live.

“I Know My Savior Lives” is the Primary theme for 2015. I would to testify to you all, but especially to my Primary children that I KNOW my Savior lives! I know that he is my redeemer and through Him I am promised eternal life. He is my best friend, my confidant, and I lean on him daily to help me through my challenges and burdens, and depend on Him to bring light to a very troubled world. I love you children dearly, and I say this humbly in his holy name, even Jesus the Christ. Amen!

The Family is Central to God's Plan

                                                      Marcie Molnar, Primary President

Ward Newsletter - May 2014

As a little girl, my family was the most important thing in my life. My daddy was my hero. He made me feel secure and safe. My mother, I adored in reverence as I watched her sacrifice for us daily, working hard and tirelessly to keep a clean home and prepare meals for our family. As sisters, we used to talk about being each other's arms and legs. We were so close and there was nothing that was as important to us, as our family.

I believed however, that there could only be one talent in each category in a family: one artist, one dancer, one singer. We had one of each, so I couldn’t also be one of those. Who was I then? What talent did I have to make me special?

I thought that there could only be one child that could be loved the most, favored above all others. It was obvious to me that the first born and the baby were the blessed ones in our family. I wasn’t either. As we grew, the sibling rivalry changed the dynamics of our family, and the foundation fell out from beneath us when Dad died. My family was lost forever I thought, because I did not know God’s plan for families.

Years later, my husband and I joined the Church and were soon blessed with our own family. I began to see the family in an entirely different perspective once I had embraced the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I began to understand how much I was valued and how abundant my gifts and talents are, even if someone else has that talent, and how great my worth is, even though someone else is of great worth. There is an abundance of ALL, because love is unlimited and eternal.

I don't believe I fully understood love however, until I was able to give ALL of myself to my own family, like my parents had. Suddenly I saw my mother in a different light as I found myself modeling her in many ways.

I will admit that I didn't comprehend "unconditional love" until I experienced the intensity of sorrow within my own child’s life. I didn't understand the full depth and breadth of love that our Father in Heaven and our Savior have for us, until then.

God gave us families because it is within those families that we learn these truths, where we learn how to love and be loved, the need for repentance, and the miracle of forgiveness.

"The most important cause of our lifetime is our families. If we devote ourselves to this cause, we will improve every other aspect of our lives and will become, as a people and as a church, an example and a beacon for all people of the earth." M. Russell Ballard, April 1, 2012 General Conference.

I believe it is so vital that we do all that we can within our own homes, to create an environment where each one is loved, respected, and nurtured as an individual. We must cultivate a foundation of trust, confidence, mutual support, and encouragement, as well as a dedication to selflessly serving one another. Only then, as Elder Ballard expressed, will we improve every other aspect of our lives that we may become a light and an example to others both within and outside of our own homes.

We are all gaining a greater appreciation of families in Primary this year, and the importance of our role in them, as part of our Heavenly Father’s plan for us, being sensitive to the different family situations. In “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”, we are taught that “Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and...the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”

God gave us families to help us become what He wants us to be--
This is how He shares His love,
for the family is of God.
- The Family is of God, The Friend, October 2008, Words and music by Matthew Neeley

Father's Day June 16, 2013

Last June I created for my son's Dad a Father's Day card using this picture and wrote this verse.  I just found it going through some letters:

Rancho Corrido Camp Ground near Fallbrook, CA

This Father's Day is a bit lonely without the boys this year,

And times are challenging right now;

But we have been through rough journeys before,

And our faith has always sustained us.

We won't give up!

We have made covenants and with hope and the Lord's help,

We can look forward to the Eternities!

Happy Father's Day

Queen for a Day!

(This is actually kind of funny. I was asked by the Bishopric to write the article for the May Ward Newsletter. I have been so busy with work, church and many personally issues, that I found a moment to sit down and write the article in plenty of time before the editor's deadline. I emailed it off to the Bishop earlier this week for his mark of approval. Lo and behold, it ends up in the April edition. Needless to say, I was surprised. Apparently the editors contacted the Bishop to let him know that they had not received the monthly message for the April newsletter yet. There obviously was some confusion because he forwarded mine on to them. So, it's a month early, but I'm good now. My assignment is done and I don't have to stress over it any longer. Bishop Soper was just grateful I was not offended. LOL!)

Queen for a Day
Ward Newsletter, May 2013
Marcie Molnar, Primary President

During a recent conversation with my sister, I was reminded of the television series, Queen for a Day. The series is considered a forerunner of modern-day "reality tv" and opened with the host asking the audience, "Would YOU like to be Queen for a day?"

Each interview was conducted by the host, in a positive and upbeat manner in spite of her circumstances. He would first ask her about her family and her life. Then the woman would be asked what she needed the most and why she wanted to win the title of Queen for a Day. Most of the requests were for medical care, but sometimes it was a simple request for a new appliance. Often the women broke down sobbing as they described their plights, and the host quickly comforted them offering a clean white handkerchief to dry their eyes.

The winner was then selected using the classic "applause meter". The harsher the circumstances, the likelier the studio audience was to raise the applause meter to its highest level. The winner, to the musical accompaniment of "Pomp and Circumstance" would then be draped in a sable-trimmed red velvet robe, given a glittering jeweled crown to wear, placed on a velvet-upholstered throne, and handed a dozen long-stemmed roses to hold as she wept, often uncontrollably, while her list of prizes was announced.

The prizes began with the necessary help the woman had requested, but built from there. They might include a trip, a night on the town with her husband, silver-plated flatware, an array of kitchen appliances, or a selection of fashion clothing. The losing contestants were each given smaller prizes; no one went away from the show without a meaningful gift.

The host's trademark sign-off was "This is Jack Bailey, wishing we could make every woman a queen, for every single day!"

My sisters and I watched many such episodes with my mother as she sat wiping her own tears as they streamed down her cheeks. Oh, how we longed to submit her application to the show as we struggled with many of the same plights in our own family life. I can to this day, still visualize my mother on the throne, adorned in the queenly attire, and sobbing. In my mind, she deserved to be queen every day.

We are all reminded on Mother's Day of the value of the women in our lives. We reflect on the work that they do and the service they render, the unselfish acts of compassion and the sacrifices they make, many of which go unnoticed and without reward. Many days end with exhaustion and tears endured, as they do their best to carry their burdens with dignity.

I am so grateful for a church that acknowledges and reminds us that we are daughters of an exhaulted being who loves us, princesses and queens in the making. How great is our roll and our contribution. May we search the scriptures always for the words and peace that bring comfort to all women during times of joy and times of adversity and feel of His love that we might know that in His eyes, we all ARE a queen (in the making) for every single day!

My Towel of White

(I wrote this poem for Primary on 1/5/13.  I am still debating the title, but wanted to post it here to state that this is my own writing and is not to be copied without written permission. A dear friend is looking into putting this to music for our ward Primary)

I set upon a course today,
and chose to live a better way;
My little body dressed in white,
A covenant made to Choose the Right.

To follow Jesus is my plan,
And do the best at all I can;
He came to earth to show the way,
Today I promise to obey.

This towel and I are dressed in white,
A symbol of the Savior's light;
Clean and pure I'll strive to be,
Reminded by the towel giv'n me.

Each Sunday I take the Sacrament,
In remembrance of the Son God sent;
Renewing covenants made this day,
Reminding me the price He paid.
--Marcella Damigos Molnar
January 5, 2013

A Gift of Light

We've lit a candle just for you,

In remembrance of things we have been through;

Not to ponder on the bad,

But to rejoice in friendships had.

Through tears and trials, hours of grief,

Your light shone through in measured relief;

The Savior's love exemplified,

Through your charity, we've been edified.

Our gratitude this Christmas Day,

Expressed to you in this small way;

For friends, we have not made it through,

Our darkest trials without you.

                                                --Marcella Damigos Molnar

                                                                Christmas 2012